Thirty Days!?

I am officially under the thirty day mark before I leave for Japan, and I’m kind of freaking out.  I honestly don’t know what happened, but there is something tangibly different about today than yesterday.  Yesterday I was a cool cucumber: all of my checklists were in order and I had everything under control.  There were distinct plans and piles, documents shipped out, doctor’s appointments made, making my last “American” dinner requests and systematically going through old clothes in favor of more “grown up attire” (you gotta fake it till you make it, right?).  

I got this, no problem!

However, today, my checklists seem unorganized and haphazard and I feel woefully unprepared.  I’m still trying to figure out what to pack, what to buy when I get there, what to ship.  How much omiyage should I bring?  What should my omiyage be?  How many pictures should I bring from home?  Are “I ♥ San Diego" key chains totally lame?  How much toothpaste can I stuff into my suitcase?

I still can’t believe that in less than thirty days, I’m going to be moving to a whole new continent.  I feel like there is so much more I could be planning for…but I have no idea what it would be.  This is the problem of being a consummate controller: everything is thoroughly planned out, all of the “i”s are dotted and the “t”s crossed, and your backup plan has its own backup plan.  But then you wait, and as time goes on your “To-Do” list gets shorter and you delay crossing something off the list.  The worst part is, it wasn’t like this yesterday. 

Yesterday was the last day of June, and I was excited.  Today is the first day of July, and I’m utterly terrified.  Where the heck did all of my time go!?  I’m sure that this is all part of the process of making such a huge lifestyle change in such a short amount of time, but I certainly don’t have to like it. :(  

Here's hoping my next post isn't quite so emo.